Self-care is not selfish, but a necessity. Self-care is more than a bubble bath… 

As we are well and truly into the second half of the year, parents often feel a sense of parental exhaustion. This is normal. Juggling work, family and many other commitments is a fine balancing act which zaps up a lot of energy. Sadly, our children do not have a switch-off button, so parenting is a relentless, never-ending act. 

It is essential to look after your own wellbeing in order to prevent you from experiencing parental burn-out. Parental exhaustion might result in feeling emotionally disconnected or even resentful towards your children. Some parents experience physical exhaustion, and often there is a sense of shame or failure for not being able to be the parents you had set out to be.  

Research has shown that mothers are still picking up most of the slack, and that it is often mothers who are feeling utterly exhausted. When mothers have time for selfcare, are able to voice their needs and are feeling appreciated for all they do, they tend to parent much more effectively and with more joy. 

Some mothers who prioritise their own self-care are feeling guilty as they feel that they should look after their children instead. 

Then there is the lack of time. The day is not long enough to fit everything in as is, let alone make some time for selfcare. 

Yet, research has shown that parents, especially mothers, who regularly engage in self-care practices feel so much better about their parenting and are generally experiencing better mental and physical health that has a positive impact on the family. As my pediatrician father used to say: “If the mother is feeling well, the children are feeling well.”

Here are some simple strategies that help you to re-group, re-energise and relax. 

1.Everyday small self-care rituals have a bigger impact than engaging in self-care practices once a week. These little actions do not require much time and do not cost anything. Introducing some of these rituals throughout the day functions like pressure valves. They allow you to re-group and create more balance in your day. 

Examples: 

-Engage in breathing exercises or listen to short meditations. -Rise 15 min before your children to enjoy a quiet cup of coffee. 

-Establish a healthy bedtime routine that helps you to wind down. Listening to music, gentle yoga, journaling, reading.

-Replace some of your online/screen use with Self-care practices. Instead of using free time to check emails or scrolling through your apps, use this time for self-care practices. You’d be surprised how much extra time you get. 

– Sit in the sun for a few minutes.

– Go for a gentle walk around the block.

– Take a warm shower.

– Have a quick ocean dip. The cool ocean waters are a powerful reset. 

– Do some little arts and craft activities or some drawing. It is truly relaxing.

– Do some gentle yoga stretches for a few minutes.

– Lie on your back (floor/nature), ground yourself, put your hands on your belly and breathe for five minutes. When outside, just observe the clouds floating by. This exercise did wonders for one of my clients.

– Put on an Abba song and just dance and sing for a few minutes. Singing calms down the nervous system and the short physical exercise gets your blood pumping, flooding your body with ‘good feel hormones’ that will get you going. 

-Say “NO” to social engagements in order to say “YES” to yourself.

-Set yourself boundaries. 

-Have a twenty minute nap even if there is chaos around you and the list is endless. The list will never go away anyway.